Reflections

Reflections of a Dom #2: Reclaiming and Re-centering [Thoughts]

There is something inherently beautiful about finding something that was lost. Be it an old sock in the dark corners of your closet or an old DVD of your favorite movie from years ago, buried beneath clutter. There’s that satisfaction and sense of triumph that washes through you as you exclaim “YES!” and do a fist pump while singing “WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS….!

And that is just for things. These things seem mundane at first glance, but it’s not really about the thing itself. It’s about the feeling upon finding that thing you thought was gone. Now picture amplifying that feeling when it comes to things that REALLY matter. To people,  to relationships and to emotions. Like reconnecting with your old best buddy from high school who parted ways with you after graduating. Or, picking up that baseball bat that you used when you played back minor league back then – you were the star back then, you were important.

I want to be as honest and transparent in sharing what I have experienced the past few days. I was so used to the status quo in my relationship and feeling invincible that nothing could ever change it. I got complacent. I took things for granted that I shouldn’t have. I should have been more pro-active and more engaged, I could’ve been more outgoing and exciting. When you’re with the love of your life, how can you not embrace every moment of life sharing that with her? I’ve let our D/s relationship go stagnant. “Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda” These thoughts ran through my head as I spent the night alone in bed missing the other half of my heart. Sleep was an elusive beast to me. I was up until I succumbed from sheer exhaustion.

Somewhere in the delirious mind full of thoughts both dark and hopeful, I came to the realization. That whatever happened, happened. I can’t turn back the time. It’s time to grow up and step up to the plate. It’s time to face my reality like a man and adapt. It’s always been that way in nature, it’s most primal law – the survival of the fittest. So I chose to stop feeling sorry for myself and shed the weight of guilt and complacency. I steeled my nerves and made a promise: From now on, I’m going to work on myself to become the man that my Kitten will always be able to rely on, someone to guide her through life and show her all the wonders this life has to give.

After I brought Kitten home, she had noticed that there had been a change in me. An energy that she hasn’t seen in a good while. Something that made her excited. I beamed at her with a look that signified something that we both knew was always in me. It can only be described as one primal impulse – hunger. After spending time apart, I was hungry for her. Hungry to touch her once again, hungry to experience more with her. I held her close, pressed my face upon the back of her ear and inhaled deep. Her scent always was intoxicating I cannot bare to not have this my mind screamed.

be4ffd92db53354ab562fdb94cea8bafI looked at her with the primal look that a hungry wolf has towards his mate. I want every part of you I thought. And she felt it, I could feel her shiver in my arms as I led her to our bed. I held her close and told her how much I missed and yearned for her. But most of all, I told her that my hunger for our relationship is back and stronger than ever. I kissed her tenderly with the butterfly kisses that I know she loves, touched her cheek in a way that made her blush. I slowly undressed her, pausing to take in her scent and kissing each part of her body. I’ve missed you. I whisper that but it didn’t seem enough. I had to reclaim her. She is mine and I am hers. At that moment, I was the hungry wolf and she was my prey.

No other words were needed to be said as we became one, once again. I felt my body and soul connect with hers with every thrust. You are mine I finally whisper as I reclaimed her completely, filling her with my love. We exhaled in bliss as she beamed at me, finally able to feel re-centered. I beamed in absolute love for her, my hunger sated for now. I think to myself You’re my home. Now I am complete once again. As we laid down snuggled up, I smiled when I felt our bodies relax. I felt the familiar rise and fall of her chest as her breathing slowed.  Finally, for both of us, sleep was no longer an elusive beast.

As the days go by, I promised myself – I will never, ever lower my guard to complacency again. I will cherish what I have and always live each day though it was my last. Life is fleeting, but the love we cultivate in others lasts forever. Friends, do me a favor – give someone you love a kiss and a hug. You never know just how much they will appreciate it.

Until next time, my friends. Fair winds to you all.

 

Much love,

Captain Taliron Quinn

 

7 thoughts on “Reflections of a Dom #2: Reclaiming and Re-centering [Thoughts]

  1. I connected to this in so many ways.. The complacency, the dreaded “comfortable”, the coulda, shoulda, woulda.. the dark night spent deep, deep in thought about what I had allowed my relationship to become.. that pit of despair and fear and anger at myself for it.. and the reawakening.. the snapping out of it and retaking what IS MINE.. I look forward to following your progress as well as sharing my own with the world..

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for your kind reply. In some sense, it is comforting to know that I am not alone in having gone through something like this. Truthfully, it feels like a mountain to climb to recover but like any long journey, we all gotta start with that single step. Writing about it has been cathartic and allowed me to be introspective of my actions. It is allowing me to focus on realizing where I went wrong, in order to not repeat my mistakes instead of blaming myself for letting them happen in the first place. Thank you again and I’d love to follow your progress as well. Fair winds, friend.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. “guilt and complacency” – everyone’s devil. Usually makes us suck even more than we normally suck when we’re trying but just failing naturally. I’m so happy you feel this way. I believe my last post on bad doms was simply about complacent Doms. Those that don’t do the research, don’t pay attention to their subs, practically don’t display the hunger for their lifestyle…So as long as you have the hunger and can be transparent about how you feel…as a Dom, I feel you can never go wrong. Thanks for this post. And I’ll actually share it on my blog. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi kuudere1, thank you for your kind words! Sadly, I did fall into that trap, but now I know what I did wrong. I feel better each day that I did the right thing and stepped up instead of giving up. Sometimes, it takes a big wake up call to really light a fire under someone. Now I can look back actually see how much better things are, and I am better as a person because of the things I learned.

      If I could help others that are going through the same rut, even just to tell them “Wake up and appreciate what you have!” then I would’ve done my job. So, thank you for the share!

      Like

      1. Aww. 🙂 That’s so true! And you’re welcome. Thanks for spreading the word of appreciation and getting rid of complacency! It takes admitting you are doing it before you can get rid of such an attitude. ^^ It takes a lot of strength to do that. Being a Dom is something you can research in order to prepare yourself, but in practice, there’s new stuff you learn each day and many challenges that bop you on the head that you have to ask advice for or figure out in your own creative way! But never be afraid to ask, or even to consult your sub. Subs are your better half for a reason! We can thus help you better yourself if you trust our judgement, especially if your goal is to cater to our wellbeing. ^^ Ah. Ur so awesome.

        Liked by 1 person

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